FWB dating site: find a friend with benefits who suits you

Not after a traditional relationship, but still keen on someone you genuinely get on with, fancy and see regularly? An FWB dating site is where you can meet singles who are open to the same kind of arrangement.

FWB stands for friends with benefits: a connection in which friendship, good company and physical attraction can go together, without the two of you automatically being in a committed romantic relationship.

The advantage of a dating site for FWB is that expectations are on the table far sooner. That matters, because it stops one person quietly hoping for a relationship while the other is looking for something no strings attached.

On 4Match you can set up a personal profile, state the kind of contact you're looking for and browse other singles whose wishes line up with yours.

Start FWB dating

What is FWB dating?

In FWB dating, two people look for a mix of personal contact, easy friendship and intimacy. There's mutual attraction, but building a conventional relationship isn't the aim.

What that looks like in practice differs from person to person. One person wants someone to see regularly and do things with as well. Someone else would rather keep it looser and lower-key.

Friends with benefits means something different to everyone

So it pays to do more than say you're looking for an FWB. Say what you mean by it.

Worth talking through:

• Do you want to go out and do things together too?
• How often do you want to see each other?
• Are you exclusive, or are you both still dating other people?
• How much contact do you want in between seeing each other?
• What happens if one of you starts to catch feelings?
• Which boundaries matter to you?

An FWB is not a relationship

Relationships usually come with expectations around exclusivity, falling in love, moving in together and a shared future. With an FWB, none of that has to be the starting point.

That doesn't make a friends with benefits arrangement impersonal or careless. Because you're seeing each other more than once, trust, honesty and straightforward communication actually matter more, not less.

An FWB isn't the same as a one-night stand

Anyone looking for an FWB is usually looking for more than a single meet-up. A friend with benefits is generally someone you see repeatedly, and someone you build a bit of a personal or friendly bond with.

That's what sets FWB dating apart from purely one-off or anonymous contact.

An FWB dating site for singles with matching expectations

An FWB dating site makes it easier to meet people who have deliberately chosen this way of dating. You have a better idea of what someone is after from the start, and you can be honest about it while you're getting to know each other.

4Match isn't a site used exclusively for FWB. Singles on the platform look for all sorts of relationships and connections, which means you can set out what you're open to yourself and see which people fit that.

Why use a dating site for FWB?

The useful part of a dating site for FWB is that you learn quite a bit about someone before you ever meet, far more than you would if you happened to get chatting on a night out.

You can see things like:

• Who someone is;
• What they're interested in;
• Where they live;
• What they find attractive;
• What kind of contact they're looking for;
• Whether your personalities are likely to click.

An FWB isn't purely about physical attraction, after all. If you want to see someone regularly, it helps enormously if you actually enjoy each other's company.

FWB dating for men and women

Men and women alike use an FWB dating site to look for someone who's open to a similar kind of connection.

Who you're hoping to meet is personal. So be as clear as you can in your profile about the people you'd like to hear from and the sort of contact you have in mind.

Look for a person, not just an arrangement

Even when a relationship isn't the goal, the personal click still counts for a lot.

Look past the photos, then. Pay attention to someone's humour, their interests, how they communicate, how they live and the way they talk about FWB dating in the first place.

Online FWB dating: finding someone who wants the same thing

Online FWB dating lets you get to know each other properly before you arrange to meet. That gives you both the chance to work out whether there's enough trust and enough of a personal click alongside the attraction.

Being clear about things is doubly important here. Say what you're looking for from the beginning and there's far less room for crossed wires later on.

Write a clear FWB dating profile

Mention that you're open to an FWB, by all means, but spend most of your profile telling people something about yourself.

For example:

• Your hobbies and interests;
• How you like to spend your free time;
• What you're like as a person;
• The kind of person you find attractive;
• How much a friendly click matters to you;
• What you are and aren't looking for.

A profile that says nothing beyond "looking for FWB" gives nobody a reason to message you specifically.

Start with a normal conversation

Someone looking for an FWB online hasn't invited sexual comments or explicit messages. Those are two different things.

Open a conversation the way you would with any other single you found interesting. Read the profile, ask something personal, and see whether talking to each other flows easily.

Attraction has to run both ways

A photo might spark the first bit of interest, but attraction only works when it's mutual.

Beyond that, it's worth noticing whether you:

• Find it easy to talk to each other;
• Share the same sense of humour;
• Respect each other's boundaries;
• Want roughly the same thing;
• Both feel comfortable.

Don't stay in the messages forever

If things are going well through online FWB dating, suggest meeting somewhere public before the conversation goes stale.

Meeting in person is the only way to find out whether the attraction you felt online is there offline too.

Agreeing the ground rules of an FWB

An FWB works best when both people want more or less the same thing. That doesn't mean pinning down every detail in advance, but a handful of topics are worth raising early.

Is your FWB exclusive?

Don't assume someone is only seeing you.

Some people agree to be exclusive within their FWB. Others carry on dating or have other connections alongside it.

Either can work perfectly well, as long as you're honest about it and you're both comfortable with what you've agreed.

What if feelings develop?

An FWB may start with no romantic intentions at all, but feelings don't take instructions.

One of you might end up wanting more.

Say so, rather than letting it sit. You may discover you're both open to a relationship. If you're not, it may be time to work out whether the arrangement is still doing either of you any good.

Boundaries can change

Saying yes to something last time doesn't mean yes applies automatically the next time.

Anyone can set a boundary, and anyone can change their mind at any point.

Casual doesn't mean careless

An FWB that works well is built on:

• Mutual respect;
• Honesty;
• Clear communication;
• Respect for each other's boundaries;
• Consent on both sides;
• Being someone the other person can rely on.

You might not be looking for a relationship, but there's still another person involved.

Safer online dating for FWB

Even when you've both said plainly that you're looking for an FWB, take the time to get to know each other first.

A match on a dating site for FWB never obliges anyone to become intimate.

Meet somewhere public first

For a first meeting, think along the lines of:

• A coffee;
• A drink somewhere;
• Lunch together;
• A walk somewhere busy and public.

That way you can find out whether the personal and physical attraction holds up in person before anything else.

Talk about safer sex

Once intimacy becomes part of your FWB, talk openly about protection, any other sexual partners and STIs.

Make those decisions together, and respect where the other person draws the line.

Practical precautions

• Meet in a public place the first time;
• Tell someone you trust where you're going;
• Sort out your own transport;
• Don't share your home address before you're comfortable doing so;
• Never send money to someone you only know online;
• Don't let anyone pressure you into anything;
• End the contact if someone doesn't respect your boundaries.

At 4Match, new profiles and photos are checked by hand. Stay alert yourself as well, on any dating site.

Start FWB dating on 4Match

Looking for an FWB dating site where you can meet someone for a connection that's casual but still personal? Create a profile on 4Match and set out the kind of contact that fits you.

Through online FWB dating you can get to know other singles first and find out whether you want the same thing.

Maybe you're after someone to see regularly, do things with and fancy at the same time. Maybe you'd rather keep it simple, without the expectations that come with a relationship.

Whichever it is, an FWB stands or falls on the same three things: clear communication, mutual attraction and respect for each other.

Find a friend with benefits

• Create a personal profile for free;
• Say that you're looking for an FWB;
• Tell people something about yourself and your interests;
• Browse singles who want something similar;
• Start a proper conversation;
• Talk through expectations and boundaries;
• Arrange to meet once the click is mutual.

4Match can be used as a dating site for FWB by singles who want to meet someone with the same wishes, openly and respectfully.

Start online FWB dating